Getting What I Want

I’m getting what I’ve always wanted. 

It’s not a new car, or a new home, a larger paycheck, the Pulitzer Prize, or the Drummer of the World award.

I am getting love, esteem, acceptance.  I’m getting my soul fed from the one who matters most in my life – my wife. 

Never have I experienced this love and esteem to the degree that I know it today.  My soul is fed, my cup is full, and my sense of self-worth grows every day all because of our relationship.

This is a personal post – almost too personal for your eyes.  Yet it is significant enough that I feel it is worth sharing. 

I’ve had this quote in my files for some time now, and today it demanded my attention. 

  

Did you get what you wanted?

I did.

And what did you want?

To call myself beloved, to feel myself beloved on the earth.

Raymond Carver

                     Late Fragment

I can call myself ‘beloved’ because of the one who loves me most, cherishes me, esteems me, believes in me, and loves me as I am, not as I should be.  And I’m writing about my love – Carolyn. 

The way we do life is such a soul-satisfying experience.  The way we talk about the large and small events of life, and the way we laugh together … well, it’s meeting a need to the largest degree I’ve ever known.

I am esteemed and loved.

That is what I have always wanted.

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