Wholeness Does Not Mean Perfection

Wholeness Does Not Mean Perfection

I guess I am not a whole person. You see, I’ve had some body alterations. Toes amputated on my left foot, three heart bypasses in one surgery, a broken left arm and other scrapes, dents, flaws, and weaknesses.

So, I guess I’m not perfect either. Hmmm. This idea strikes me tonight as I write.

Parker Palmer said this: “Wholeness does not mean perfection. It means embracing brokenness as an integral part of life.”

Whew! That kind of takes the pressure off, doesn’t it?

Wouldn’t it be grand if we were perfect? Life would be a breeze if everything we did, or sought, or thought, or talked about was perfect.

So, what do we do?

Looks to me like we embrace our broken places. We accept our flaws, our impurities, or proclivities, our weaknesses, our less-than-righteous tendencies. We accept the cracks that occur in our lives, our goals, and dreams, and do life anyway. Sometimes that means getting over ourselves,

Oh, I want to be perfect. People like me when I am perfect. When I balance to a zero difference in banking, I’m perfect. And you should see me on the days when I’m off balance. Ouch. That is not a pretty sight.

When I write a really great blog, or produce a great podcast, that’s amazing. I’m approaching near perfection. And when I don’t, I write and do podcasts anyway.

We keep going. We keep trying. We keep doing life.

In Brennan Manning’s book, Ruthless Trust, he tells a story about a cracked pot. Here is my re-telling.

Once upon a time there was a water bearer who had two large pots. Each hung on opposite ends of a pole that he carried across his neck.

One of the pots was perfect. The other had a crack in it.

The perfect pot always delivered a full measure of water to their master’s table, while the cracked pot leaked and arrived with only half a measure. Needless to say, the cracked pot was discouraged. He was ashamed of his performance because of his cracks. He didn’t feel useful.

One day, the cracked pot spoke to the water-bearer. “I am ashamed of myself. I only deliver a portion of what you expect of me each trip to the well. You see, I have cracks and I lose most of my measure of water all the way back home.”

The water-bearer smiled and replied, “My poor cracked pot. As we walk home today, I want you to notice the beautiful flowers along the path.”

And sure enough, there were dozens and hundreds of beautiful and colorful flowers on his side, all along the path home.

The water-bearer pointed out, “Did you notice that there were flowers only along your side of the path and not on the side of the perfect pot? I know about your flaws. Every day for two years, as we have walked this path, you have been watering the seeds on your side and they have grown into beautiful flowers. Without you being just the way you are we would be looking at brown dirt, not graceful beauty.

Maybe, my dear cracked pot, you need to embrace your imperfections. You are whole, nevertheless, despite your imperfections.”

You see ... the cracked pot was useful after all. Sure, he leaked, sure he was considered less than, because he delivered less than the other pot. However, he had his purposes to fulfill, and he learned to do just that.

Wow! This gives a whole new sense of wholeness and perfection to our lives, doesn’t it?

If you need a spiritual application to this analogy, here it is.

God takes our imperfect cracks and weaknesses and teaches us a new sense of purpose, a new way to be whole and complete. We are useful, even in the middle of our imperfections.

Will we allow that to happen? I am. And I hope you are too.

P Michael Biggs 

Hope~Encouragement~Inspiration

What People Seek

What People Seek

I am a people person. For me, it has always been about building relationships. The many people I’ve met over the years of my living have added such color and freshness to my life. That is one of the reasons I write along the lines that I write. This I understand about people.

“One of the great cries of the human heart is this ...

People Seek Meaning 

People Seek Connection

People want to know that their lives matter, that they are making a difference, a contribution in this world.

I think often of Oprah’s comments on her last televised show. She said this.

"I’ve talked to nearly 30,000 people on this show, and all 30,000 had one thing in common: They all wanted validation.

"If I could reach through this television and sit on your sofa or sit on a stool in your kitchen right now, I would tell you that every single person you will ever meet shares that common desire. They want to know: ‘Do you see me? Do you hear me? Does what I say mean anything to you? 

~Oprah Winfrey

People seek meaning in their lives. They want to know if they mean anything special to someone else, and they want their lives to have some kind of impactful meaning.

In a quiet house, on a quiet street, the mailman was working his way to every home, delivering whatever was in his bag for each residence.

Later that same day a phone call was placed. I answered.

“Hi, Michael. I got your note today.” And then she broke down and sobbed.

After later reflection, this is what I know. Though she could not put into words at that moment what she was feeling, she communicated, nevertheless. And what she said was this:

“I felt cherished today.”
“I felt loved and appreciated.” 

“You thought of me.”
“You recognized me.”

For me, it was a simple note of thanks for some act of kindness my friend had performed at our church.

For her, it was recognition, validation. Someone (me) stopped and said, “Hey, I see you. I know you and I thank you.”

Oprah said it well: “One of mankind’s greatest needs is the need to feel validated.”

When I was ten, my brother and I were mowing the yard one hot August afternoon in Tennessee. Our Dad pulled into the driveway, tossed out a brand-new baseball and glove, and then drove away.

He didn’t say anything -- he simply waved and drove away. We felt significant, cherished.

Everyone needs to feel esteemed, loved, acknowledged and that they are significant. Everyone, at some time in life, needs to be cherished.

How can we do this for others in our lives?
-Place an assuring hand on one’s shoulder and offer affirming words.

-Place a well-timed phone call and say esteeming words. 

-Send a handwritten note in the mail.

-Write a significant email of appreciation and thankfulness. 

-Send or hand-deliver a bunch of flowers unexpectedly.

-Buy a small gift, simply because it fits someone you cherish, and you want to acknowledge their significance in your life.

Back in 2012 I wrote a blog that got more clicks than any other to date at that time. It was called “Carolyn Left Me Today.” She had to fly to Phoenix to see her parents.

As we were nearing the airport we were having light conversation and she turned to me and said. “One thing I know as I go on this trip is that my cup is very full because of your love and esteeming ways and for the way you care for me.”

What an incredible thing to hear.

We look for ways to fill each other’s buckets. We esteem each other.
We talk.
We listen.

We take time for each other.
We love to take our 2-night 3-day getaways just to be together.

Just this past Friday I received a text from her. She is out of town with her daughter and granddaughter. She texted – “Just thinking of you in the in- between moments. I love you.”

I’m not a trained therapist, nor a marriage counselor, not even a relationship expert, but as I think about this blog today, some things come to my mind that I think make a huge difference in our relationship. May I share them with you?

1. We love. We find ways of loving each other. Sometimes it is a phone call. Sometimes it a $5 bunch of flowers from Pike Place Market. Every morning it is my responsibility to make her breakfast. She loves my scrambled eggs. Found out recently so do some of our grands. She will occasionally surprise me with an amazingly special dinner. Recently it was pot roast. Oh my. All these tiny actions say, “I love you.” “I cherish you.” “I adore you.” And we use the words too, in our relationship, every day – several times each day.

2. We play. We both carry a heavy schedule every week, but we live for Saturday and Sunday. I’ll never schedule an Up-Words day on the weekend without first talking with CB and finding out what she is interested in doing or where she wants to go. I can write anywhere, and at any time. I don’t want my writing to interfere with our time together. We put a lot into our days together. We do some “on- purpose” living on those days. Sometimes it a trip to a museum, or to the beach. We’ve caught more sunsets during our years of marriage than I caught all the rest of my years of living put together.

3. We talk. No, seriously – we talk. At meals, in the morning while getting ready, and any other time we are together, there is conversation. And especially at night, when I come home, we make it a point of stopping what we are doing, we embrace, we kiss, and then begin dinner prep.  We focus on each other, we look at each other, and we are in the moment, together. This is huge!

4. We laugh. During our phone chats each day I always look for something to say to crack her up. We laugh together. We enjoy life together. And we love.

All these points simply add up to this: we fill each other’s buckets. We don’t dip into each other’s bucket with hurtful, sassy, demeaning comments. We esteem one another. We look for the good. We say words that heal, not words that hurt. What a way to relate.

Our buckets are very full.

We seek on purpose to live in relationship, to offer meaning to each other and to find ways to connect.

You know what? The people around you want the same connections and meaningfulness in their relationships.

Give the greatest of gifts – VALIDATION!

P Michael Biggs 

Hope~Encouragement~Inspiration

Who Are You Becomming?

 Who Are You Becoming?

See this picture quote?

I know for sure what we 

dwell on is who we become

I happen to believe this. I’m living proof – past and present.

I talked of being a writer for over thirty years. And that is pretty much all it was – talk. Oh, I published my first article at age 28 and got paid $22 for it. But I didn’t buy into me being a writer.

Later, in other jobs, I wrote a lot of stuff – video scripts, marketing brochures, you know the drill, and yet never adopted the label ‘writer’.

Ah, but in 2009 I started taking my writing urge seriously and began my first blog. Even then, the fear of not having enough content to sustain a weekly blog plagued me. Mystery of mysteries, I kept finding subjects that needed my touch, my perspective. And now, fourteen years later I own six blog sites.

And ... I have published five books. After publishing my first book, I finally found the courage to call myself a ‘writer’.

In my earlier adult life, I attracted images of myself that were less than esteeming. As time wore on, I’m afraid I dwelt on those negative, harsh words and phrases that others had attached to me, and I began believing some of them.

The worst of all was this ... “You’re an accident looking for a place to happen.”

I’m glad many of you didn’t know me in those days. Even though those words were spoken to me almost fifty years ago, I believed a bit of that idea, and thus it affected my self-esteem, self-worth, self-confidence, and my ability to perform on a consistent basis in life.

You see, the principle of “Whatever a man thinks in his heart (mind, soul and inner being), so is he” was at play, only I was tuned into the negative images and words. Wise sages, ancient philosophers, and men and women of learning have taught us for years about the importance of good and wholesome thoughts and how we should direct our attention to those ideals and lay off the negative, put-down language that tends to run free-will though our minds in constant stream mode.

This is a hard lesson to grasp. And those negative thoughts and ideas that we allow to live rent-free in our minds are hard to corral sometimes.

But corral them we must! We must take charge of our minds when in neutral, or when discouraged, or disappointed, or after a major loss of some kind.

It is a conditioning of the mind of which I speak. WE are the masters of our own minds. Others may say those awful words of hurt, however, we are the door keeper of our own minds. WE decide if we will allow them to run free or do we arrest them sooner than soon?

There are many excellent words and phrases that disciplined people find useful. Here are some of them.

I can.
I will.
I like myself.
I approve of myself.
I am capable.
I am better than that.
I may be down but I’m not out.
If I fall seven times, I’ll stand up eight.

What are you listening to in your mind?
Can you see the importance of changing those loop-to-loop soundtracks to different, more positive words and phrases?

I so strongly believe in the power of words that my company name is Up-Words. I say – I will speak Up-Words to every person I meet. I will look for the good in others and compliment those good traits on every occasion in which I am able.

I remember a story Dale Carnegie wrote in his book "How to Win Friends and Influence People."
One day he walked by a man standing outside his office building. The gentleman was holding a sign begging for a handout of any kind.

Rather than give the man money, Mr. Carnegie looked him over and finally commented, “My goodness. You surely have tied your shoelaces nice and neat."

Mr. Carnegie thought no more of that incident.

The next morning Mr. Carnegie's secretary announced that a gentleman was there to see him. Dale showed the gentleman into his office, who was dressed in his Sunday best, wearing a fresh shirt and tie and shined shoes. And his hair was neatly combed and his face cleanly shaved.

The man began. "Perhaps you don't remember me but yesterday I was standing outside your office building begging for money. You walked by, looked me over, and then commented on how nicely my shoelaces were tied. You wouldn't have known this, but I had already decided that I was going to go and throw myself into the river unless I got some kind of sign that somebody somewhere might still care about me."

He continued.

"Your words gave me hope. I reasoned that if I could do that one thing of tying my shoelaces neatly then perhaps, I could still find other things I could do with success. I decided then and there that I would clean up and make something useful of myself. You gave me hope in those few words, Mr. Carnegie. Thank you."

My favorite quote on the power of words.

“Never underestimate the power

of the right words spoken at the right time.”

P Michael Biggs

Offering Hope

Encouragement

Inspiration

One Word at a Time!

How Far Have You Come?

 How Far Have You Come?

We’re all on the road again, aren’t we? Some of us occasionally have flat tires, we lose our transmissions, our motors give out, we run out of gas, we get dented, bruised, and need a paint job. It’s all a part of the journey we are all on.

And if you think I’m writing about an actual road trip, then keep reading.

Here’s the basis for today’s thoughts.

You Didn't Come This 

Far to Only Come

This Far!

I latched onto the parable of the servants in the Bible story who were given differing amounts of talent.

You know this, perhaps.

One was given 5 talents. He turned those into 10 talents.
One was given 2 talents. He turned those into 4 talent.
One was given 1 talent. He buried his in the ground and it was lost. No growth, no production, no future possibilities.

The moral of the story is to take what you have been dealt and make the best use of it and multiply its value.

Expand your enterprise. Grow.
Become more.
Do more with what you have.

Of course, setbacks will happen. We will get knocked off the horse a time or two. Surgeries will pop up. Illnesses will happen. And twenty or thirty other hurdles will pop up on our path.

And we keep going anyway.

We keep moving. We keep taking our pills. We keep going to the gym. We keep eating better. We keep listening to great information. We keep reading superb books.

WE GET BETTER.

The quote above challenges me.

"I didn’t come this far to come this far!"

Heck no!

There are times when issues arise, medical circumstances happen, job losses slap us down, and perhaps we think “Well, I’ve come a long way. Maybe this is where I get off.”

I don’t think so.

If you have a measure of talent, if you care, if you dream, if you have a goal and a mission in life, then you go a bit further. You reach back for a bit more strength, a bit more creativity, and a bit more will to do something more.

~Oh, we may move slower than before the attack happened.
~We may not be able to do the broad jump anymore.
~We may not sing a high C again.
~We may get our sticks tangled up and drop one or both occasionally, but we play and sing and move at whatever pace we can NOW move and play and sing.

If you can no longer speak, write.
If you can no longer sing, hum, or teach, or enjoy the music.

We find ways to continue using our talents and gifts.

I still want to write the blog heard around the world.
I still want to write more books, and especially finish my novel, for I feel it has redemptive power. (This probably makes no sense to you unless we’ve engaged in conversation about my book. It is still my little secret, and yet someday I will present it to the world.)

I don’t bother counting my talents these days. I just find ways to use them. That is the great joy in life at this age and time.

So, I’ll repeat our premise.

We didn’t come this far to only come this far!

Can you go a little farther?

P MiCHAEL BIGGS

Hope~Encouragement~Inspiration

Our Dark Days Make Us Prove We Are Strong

Our Dark Days Make Us 

Prove We Are Strong 

I once thought I was not a strong person. My self-esteem was almost non- existent, my self-confidence was in hiding, and I suppose my mindset was one of ‘I’ll coast through life and see what happens. After all, I’ll take what comes and I probably deserve what comes.’

Oh my. What a lousy way to approach life. Trouble comes, so do nothing, say nothing, assume you deserve it and that’s that.

No way. I say NO WAY.

I’ve had a few dark days in my years of living. And with the living I’ve done thus far, I can look behind me and see those dark days.

And look what I learned and look how I came out.

You don’t know the inner strength you possess until you really must dig down and use it. Oh, my friend. You have strength inside of you. I hope you believe that. What you must do now is let that strength, that intestinal fortitude rise to the surface and show us that you may be down, but you’re not out.

That bears repeating.

“You may be down, but you’re not out.”

Many of us have experienced divorce, or bankruptcy, job loss, loss of a loved one, horrible surgeries, and the list goes on.

The great news is this ... some of us have found the strength to rise from the ash-heap and make a new start. We’ve found the strength from somewhere within us and pulled ourselves up by the bootstrap. We’ve determined that this too shall pass, and this situation is not going to be the end of us.

It is not the end.
It is not even the beginning of the end.

It, however, could be the beginning of a new beginning. That’s not double- speak. That is what it is – a new beginning. Every beginning has a starting point. Where is yours?

A personal story:
When I went through toe amputation surgery on my left foot three years ago, I had dark days. I wondered, questioned, and worried over my ability or inability to ever walk at a normal pace. And I thought pain in walking was going to become the norm for me for the rest of my life.

Look at me today. I can walk. I do the treadmill at the gym. I work a 40- hour week. This past summer I discovered I can ride a bicycle again, and the weekly improvements keep on coming.

My first steps after surgery were not a pretty sight. I was in pain with every step. When I came home from the hospital, I was fearful of having to climb eight steps up and then eight steps down into our condo.

I’m way past all that.

Along the way, with Carolyn's help, I found my inner strength, my intestinal fortitude to persevere, to be persistent and to keep doing what I knew needed doing, for I was not going to let a little thing like missing five toes stop me from living a good and full life.

They were dark days. And guess what. They made me prove just how strong I already was.

I found the strength within. How about that.

Now, I’ve used a lot of “I” words to tell my story, and I trust you will forgive me for that. The point is this ... we all have that measure of inner strength. Sometimes, we never see it until the hard places come, the seemingly unsurmountable experiences in life. And when those times do come, we have a choice.

Will we wallow in our self-pity and doomsday mindset? Or will we rise, take up our bed and walk.

Just to be clear, I am a man of faith. I have no doubt that the God of my understanding was by my side through all that I have experienced in life.

And I do know that He will not do for us what we can do for ourselves.

What can you do for yourself? Sometimes we can only do small acts, and those small, somewhat insignificant acts lead to more small acts, and muscles that start firing, and neurons and nerve endings that fire, and mindsets that start changing from a can’t do to a CAN DO!

Dark days are no fun, granted. And look what they teach us.

P Michael Biggs 

Hope~Encouragement~Inspiration

Where Does Your Worst Enemy Live

Where Does Your Worst Enemy Live? 

Our worst enemy is nearer than we might think, for it is closer than your breath.

Make Sure Your Worst

Enemy Doesn't Live

Between Your Two Ears.

Laird Hamilton

You know those negative thoughts, those imaginary battles we all face. You and I know all about those conversations that we have with ourselves about the never-gonna-happen events and circumstances in life, and yet, we persist in continuing these conversations.

We fight a constant battle in this arena, and we constantly have to be on our guard. Sometimes, these arguments and scenarios feel good, and we feel self-righteous and victorious with the arguments we create in our minds. And we probably win a lot of these made-up battles that no-one ever sees.

And the enemy still exists.

I’m reminded of a Bible verse I learned a long time ago. 

“Take Every Thought Captive.”

To me, it means:

~Stop the fight. Be aware of what is happening and bow out of that fight. 

~Redirect and place your thoughts onto truth, what is or what should be. 

~If the issue is real and needs addressing, take the appropriate measures and have the hard conversations.

These are such easy words to write, and yet I fight this same enemy from time to time.

I’m in this battle with you.

P Michael Biggs 

Hope~Encouragement~Inspiration

Can Dark Days Make Us Strong?

 Can Dark Days Make Us Strong?

Have you had dark days recently? Life sometimes has a way of upsetting the apple cart, as we used to say.

Ponder this quote. What does it whisper to you considering your dark days?

“My dark days made me strong. 

Or maybe I already was strong, 

and they made me prove it.” 

~Emery Lord

At this point in life, I’m finding strength and persistence that I never knew I had.

I’m six years past my triple-bypass heart surgery and doing quite well. My blood pressure is in good ranges, I see my cardiologist regularly and he gives me good marks all around.

Over Thanksgiving I began frequent trips to the gym again, and I’m loving it. Remember I had all my toes on the left foot amputated 3 years ago. You would never know of the amputation to watch me walk now.

Dark days haven’t slowed me down. The quote for this blog IS true.

I hope you are proving some things to yourself now that might have been a bygone way of living.

P Michael Biggs 

Hope~Encouragement~Inspiration

I Came to Live Out Loud

 I Came to Live Out Loud

Welcome to the new and clean sheet of paper we have been given in this new year. Resolutions will abound. Spoken ideas and intents will be declared. Goals will be posted. Conversations will be had.

And ... We’re off!
Here is my idea for this season of life. 

If you ask me what I came 

into this life to do,

I came to live out loud!

Now I know a little bit about ‘loud’ living. I am a drummer and musician. Drummers are loud. We can’t help it. Oh, we can play soft if we must, like in Ravels “Bolero.” But give me a drum solo moment and I’ll shake the earth. It will get loud.

But that is not what I’m talking about. Nor am I talking about living a boastful, braggadocios life. I’m not a raging alcoholic, nor a rebel-rouser, so my life will not speak in those terms.

Rather, I am an encourager. I am a writer of hope, encouragement, inspiration, and the effects of my work appear in the lives of others. Somebody somewhere may read my words or hear my podcast or read my books and a shift might happen inside of them. They may think differently. They may begin a new action or activity that causes a chain reaction in themselves and in others. And they may go out and change their world as they know it. Now wouldn’t that be something?

The center of my focus, words and deeds will be in these areas. 

~Live a life of grace that is offered to every person, every day.

~Speak words that help and heal, not words that hurt and hinder.

~Become the best version of ‘ME” that I can.

~Use all the tools/talents in my toolbox.

~Allow the God-of-my-understanding to speak through me, as loudly or as softly as He chooses.

If I can pull this off, I shall then look back over this life and say, “I wrung the towel dry. I didn’t leave a drop of my life unused. I really did live out loud.”

P Michael Biggs 

Hope~Encouragement~Inspiration

Where Does Your Worst Enemy Live?

 Where Does Your Worst Enemy Live?

What a great question. And one worth some thought.

This is important, so stay tuned and read all the way to the end. I found this quote tonight and it is the centerpiece for this blog.

“Make sure your worst enemy doesn’t live between your own two ears.” ~Laird Hamilton

Oh my, the conversations we have with ourselves. They would be great comedy if they weren’t so true.

I’ve had running monologues with myself along these lines: 

~I can’t.

 ~I don’t know how. 

   ~ I might fail.

    ~People will laugh.
     ~It’s already been done before.

      ~I tried once and failed.
       ~I don’t want to look like a fool.

        ~She might say ‘no’.
        ~ I will lose my shirt if I invest in that.

         ~I don’t trust myself.

Well, I could continue, and by now you get the general idea.

We sabotage ourselves by what Zig Ziggler called ‘Stinkin’ Thinkin’.

Bottom line, we don’t believe. We are non-believers in ourselves and our worth.

I’ve told this story before, and again it proves beneficial. I was in my sixties before I realized I could do some things with great success and confidence.

One day, while reading Louise Hayes’ book “You Can Heal Your Life”, I read this four-word phrase.

I approve of myself.

I remember that day very clearly. I stopped reading, put the book down, and had a serious heart-to-heart with myself. For the first time in my life, I realized that I really had never believed in and approved of myself. Oh, I had had a few successes in life. I was a capable drummer, a fair singer, a good minister of music, and good at a few other career tracts I had followed, but in the course of life and in the study of P Michael Biggs, I had one major failure. I have never come to the place of approving of myself, my talents, my likes, my personality, my good side, and my own ideas.

I suppose it took me nearly an hour to cover that idea in relationship to my own life. At the end of that hour, I decided, yes, DECIDED that it was about time that I stepped up to the plate of self-esteem and self-analysis and start the process of approving of myself. I was not a bad person with a ton of secrets. No, no. I had not robbed a bank, cheated anyone, committed murder, or done anything worthy of jail time. I simply had never fully and completely believed in myself, my goodness, and my worth.

I made a laminated business-card size pocket reminder and for the next year, I suppose I pulled that card out and read it a dozen times a day. And the magic began to happen. I began to approve of myself.

I didn’t suddenly become Model Citizen of the Year, nor the best employee my employer ever had. I didn’t win the Noble Peace Price, I didn’t run for President, and I didn’t win the lottery. Carolyn didn’t like me, yeah, love me more. I doubt she even noticed the changes taking place inside of me, but I noticed. I walked with a bit more confidence. Not cockiness, not self- righteous pride, or narcissism. I just simply began approving of myself. I was quieting the voice in my head that had been plaguing me all my life. The voice of can’t, won’t, not worthy, I’m inferior.

The little kid that used to wear torn jeans and black tennis shoes was going away. You see, white tennis shoes were the fashion statement of my day, and torn jeans wouldn’t come along for another sixty years. I was beginning to believe in ME.

Just writing these words and going into this much detail is having a cathartic effect on me. I’ve never told this much of this part of my journey toward self-approval. It was indeed a marker in my life. And it made a difference.

Because of these circumstances, I realize now that my life’s mission is directly tied to those feelings of failure, and lack of confidence in myself. I want to help others find their own sense of self-worth and self-confidence, and I want to help a few people come to a place of declaring “I APPROVE OF MYSELF.”

If you have followed my blogging for the past thirteen years, you’ve read several blogs dealing with failure and how to overcome the label of “FAILURE”. The bottom line is this ... I may have failed at something, but I am not a failure.

My prayer is that this blog today will speak to someone’s heart and mind. I hope and pray you find your own ways to defeat your own worst enemy, the one living between your two ears. It takes hard work. It is not easy, and it IS necessary.

Morning Notes Blog Site

P Michael Biggs Hope~Encouragement~Inspiration

We Still Need Someone to Believe in Us

 We Still Need Someone to Believe in Us

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: On Oprah Winfrey’s last show of her popular daytime television series, she said this.

"I've talked to nearly 30,000 people on this show, 

and all 30,000 had one thing in common -- 

they all wanted validation. ... They wanted to know; 

Do you hear me? Do you see me? 

Does what I say mean anything to you?"

In this world, it is an easy thing for some individuals to become lost in the crowd of the other voices. There are shy people and individuals with a low sense of self-worth, and some that just plain ‘ole feel they are ‘nobody’. 

Some people are just too tired to speak up for themselves, or perhaps, have had some awful life experiences, and they reconcile within themselves that they are just not worth the fight to be acknowledged. And perhaps, they have committed what they consider the unspeakable act, or sin, or transgression. They feel they just don’t matter anymore.

What a terrible conclusion to reach – that you just don’t matter anymore.

My passion, my mission in life is to be an encourager. I want to be one who validates people. I attempt this through writing and podcasting, and in one-on-one interpersonal interactions. Am I successful? In some small measure, perhaps. Occasionally I will get a note or a phone call that lets me know someone needed my word and heard it in an appropriate time.

I’m reminded of a sixth-grade teacher, Mary, who assigned her class a writing assignment. The assignment was to write a short, positive comment about each of his/her fellow classmates and turn them in to her.

After compiling each student’s list, the teacher passed them out in class. You could hear a pin drop as the students sat quietly, reading what their fellow classmates had written about them. It was a remarkable moment.

Years later, one of the boys, John D., was killed during a hard-fought battle in Viet Nam. His sixth-grade teacher attended the memorial service, along with many fellow students in John’s class.

After the service, John’s father approached Mary and thanked her for coming to the service. He paused and continued. “We found this in his wallet along with his other belongings.

He began unfolding a sheet of paper, yellowed, tattered, and torn. It was the paper containing the comments from his sixth-grade classmates written ten years before.

The father said, “He carried this with him everywhere. I’m told he would often pull it out and read it before almost every major conflict in which he was involved during his time in Viet Nam.”

By now, other students had gathered around and one by one they each began saying that they too had their copy of these comments and how meaningful they were to them. Some even had their copy neatly tucked inside their wallets or pocketbooks.

You see the power of an appropriately placed word?

Has someone seen something in you bigger and greater than you ever dreamed you could be? Those kinds of people become my heroes. What foresight! What insight!

This is a great story and is at the heart of my thoughts for today. Our words change people.

We have the power to change somebody's life. In most cases we will never know when we’ve connected the dots for someone by our words of hope and encouragement, and yet it happens. This power still rests in our hands, and voices, and attitudes.

In the past fourteen years, I’ve written more than 600 blogs, and four books, plus over 130 podcasts. All of them with the intent and purpose of offering hope, encouragement, and inspiration to my readers. 

I shall continue writing and speaking for as long as I am physically able, for this is a passion to which I am dedicated.

If you take away any significant thought from this blog, I hope it is this.

You have the power 

to change somebody’s life.

Morning Notes Blog Site

P Michael Biggs 

Hope~Encouragement~Inspiration

Words Still Matter

 Words Still Matter

I was in a Walgreen’s Drug Store recently to pick up a prescription and as I turned to leave, I saw a man of 73 years. He was looking at birthday cards for his wife”. I thought to myself, “How sweet is this”, and decided to stay close by and just observe as he made his selection.

He reached up, picked a card, read it, and put it back. He picked another and put it back. He did these three more times, and finally read one card and then headed for the checkout with the card in hand.

I can imagine what happened over the next thirty minutes. He got home, scribbled something of sentiment on the card, or perhaps simply said “Love you” and then gave the card to his wife.

“Love you.” It can be expressed in so many ways. For some, it is a bump on the shoulder. Others place a hand on another’s hand, or shoulder, or cheek and look into their eyes. No words, just this simple touch.

Some are free to express the words, “I Love You,” and they stop at that, but there is so much more to be said.

“Thanks for the biscuits for breakfast this morning. They hit the spot.”

“I appreciate you always having my clothes clean and folded just like I like them.”

“Do you know I stopped a dozen times today and my heart swelled with love as I thought of you.”

“Oh, how you make my life beautiful.”

To a sibling we might say:
“Remember when we were kids, and you always looked out for me? Thank you for that.”

And to best friends:
“We’ve lived a good and long life. You are my best of friends. I am so thankful for how you add to my life.”

Or to a child:
“I’m really proud of you and the man/woman you are becoming.”
“I love my front row seat in watching you. You make me happy.”

Nice sentiment – “Love you”. I said it a thousand times in words and written it on a few cards for various occasions and then given them to Carolyn.

Words come hard for most of us when we think of those close to us. We want to say so much, but often soften the moment by a simple “Love you”.

Those sentiments are good, even great, but a well-placed, well-thought-out word is food for the soul that can be feasted on for days and weeks to come.

I never get far from Maya Angelou’s words when she once said:

I’ve learned that people will forget

what you said, people will forget what you did, 

but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

Words live long after they are spoken. Their effect on an individual take on a life of its own, and are played time and again, in secret, just before falling asleep, upon awakening, when things are going right and in times of sadness and hardship.

Words matter!
Let me relate a very personal story.

~~~

During my growing up years, I thought I was loved, but I was never told those magic three words “I Love You”. Dad showed us on occasion that we were loved, yet the words were never spoken. One day, when I was seven, Donny and I were out mowing the front lawn. We were just about finished when Dad pulled into the driveway, rolled down his window and tossed out a brand-new baseball and glove.

Donny and I thought we had won the lottery. Dad didn’t say anything. He simply smiled, backed out of the drive, and went back to work.

I remember another time when I hit two home runs in one game in little league baseball. Dad and Mom treated me to my favorite chocolate shake and a hamburger at The Gizmo. He was so proud of me; he went from table to table bragging on me and my home runs. But no “I Love You.”

When I went to college, I made friends. I began noticing that some of my friends and their families would express the “I Love You” words when together. I began thinking about my own family and how I had never heard them express these words to me and my siblings. Of course, I had never expressed them to my parents either.

During these days I was still directing music for a church that my dad pastored. On an October Sunday, I felt it was time to begin expressing “I Love You” to Mom and Dad.

All afternoon I kept looking for the perfect opportunity to say, “I love you.” Finally, after the PM service, we went

to my parent’s home for a bite to eat. As we were getting ready to leave, as usual, we would gather in a circle, join hands and Dad would pray for us.

I knew after he said “Amen” that it was now or never if I was going to say “I love you” on this night.

As I hugged Dad I simply whispered, in a broken voice “I love you.”

He paused a moment, hugged me a little tighter, then tried to croak out “I lo lo lov cough cough cough.” He just couldn’t say the words, but he tried.

When I hugged Mom, I expressed those same words to her. She simply pulled me even closer. Mom had this funny way of hugging where she would bury my head between her neck and the top of her shoulder. When I said “Mom, I love you,” she just squeezed me tighter and cried. To this day I can still remember the smell of Mom’s perfume mixed with the bath powder that she wore.

We broke the ice that day. We got good at saying “I love you”.

~~~

If you ask me on any given day, “do words matter” I would respond with a resounding YES! They do. I have built my writing career on the power of words, so much so that my company is called Up-Words.

I encourage you to find the words, the phrases, the ideas that need to be expressed in your family and with your close friends. Say the words. Express the sentiments.

Words still matter!

This is my morning reflection.

Morning Notes Blog Site

P Michael Biggs Hope~Encouragement~Inspiration

God Doesn't Have Stubby Arms

 God Doesn’t Have Stubby Arms

In what situation do you find yourself today? No matter where you are, God’s arms can reach you and lift you up.

This is ONE strong and encouraging thought.

~Are you soaking in an alcoholic stupor? God can reach you.
~Are you so in debt you can’t find a way out? Call out to God.
~Are you in relationship conflict with someone? Let God help you with a remedy.

Regardless of the human predicament in which we find ourselves, God is still able to reach out to us and bring deliverance and help in our time of need.

I was reminded of this verse last week when a close friend of ours came for a visit. Leanne had been studying this particular verse in her women’s Bible Study group.

And the Lord answered Moses, “Is the Lord’s arm too short? Now you will see whether or not what I say will come true for you.” Numbers 11:23

This concept of God is a strong part of my own personal God-concept. However, remember this important part of the equation. We have to call out to God for help and we have our own part to play in this work of deliverance.

That is, perhaps, the part we sometimes want to skip over, and yet it is true. Are you and I willing to do our part along with God reaching down to do His part?

At present, I am recovering from having my toes amputated on my left foot. At the seven-week mark I am doing well, and it is because God is reaching out to me AND I am doing the smart thing of eating better, bringing my medical numbers down into proper range, losing weight and moving about as my scars and body allows. No one can do that for me except me.

I’ve recovered from divorce. Of course I felt God’s presence with me in those dark moments, however, I had to do my part and do the acts of recover from those painful experiences. I had to read books, talk with trusted advisors, and set my mind on a future with hope in the middle of the pit in which I found myself. And God’s arms were continually reaching down to me and pulling me along.

I hope you are finding God’s arms to be long enough for whatever predicament you face in these days.

He truly does have strong and long arms!

Internet Church Blog Site

P Michael Biggs Hope~Encouragement~Inspiration

Baloney and the Banquet

 Baloney and the Banquet 

We had some good friends over for a meal recently. Never in our wildest imagination would we have considered serving them baloney sandwiches. Not on your life. Carolyn whipped up an amazing lasagna with all the appropriate side dished and we feasted.

Baloney ...

Not the food for kings and good friends. Now, I like baloney as an occasional sandwich for lunch, but not for serving to guests.

Keep reading, please.

This story is from Come Share the Being by Bob Benson
Do you remember when they had old-fashioned Sunday school picnics? It

was before air-conditioning.
They said,
“We’ll meet at Sycamore Lodge in Shelby Park at 4:30 Saturday. You bring your supper and we’ll furnish the tea.”

But you came home at the last minute and when you got read to pack your lunch all you could find in the refrigerator was one piece of dried up baloney and just enough mustard in the bottom of the jar so that you got it all over our knuckles trying to get to it.

And there were just two stale pieces of bread.

So, you made your baloney sandwich and wrapped it in some brown bag and went to the picnic.

And when it came time to eat, you sat at the end of the table and spread out your sandwich.

But the folks next to you – the lady was a good cook – and she had worked all day and she had fried chicken, and baked beans, and potato salad, and homemade roles, and sliced tomatoes and pickles, and olives, and celery, and topped it all off with two big homemade chocolate pies.

And they spread it all out beside you and there you were with your baloney sandwich.

But they said to you, “Why don’t we put it all together?”

“No, I couldn’t do that. I just couldn’t even think if it,” you murmured embarrassedly.

“Oh, come on, there’s plenty of chicken and plenty of pie, and plenty of everything – and we just love baloney sandwiches. Let’s just put it all together.”

And so, you did and there you sat, eating like a king when you came like a pauper.

Sometimes, we don’t have much to offer ... in life, to friends and family, and to God. It seems our contribution is a dried-up piece of baloney between two pieces of stale bread, and yet we’re offered a feast from some kindly neighbor next door, or a friend far away, or a measure of mercy from God himself.

This is not a pity party, so please hold a more lofty thought of me for a few minutes.

At this very moment, it seems I’m in the baloney days of my life. I had amputee surgery 4 1⁄2 weeks ago on my left toes. For three weeks, I had to be waited on hand and foot, no pun intended.

As I write this, I can see a dozen cards from friends and family wishing me healing, peace, comfort and good thoughts and prayers. And my in-box has been filled with words and expressions of love and healing thoughts as well. My baloney has turned dry and moldy during this ordeal, and yet, these cherished ones of mine have given me banquet food to eat in the form of thoughts, prayers and actions. I haven’t even been able to respond to anyone, but I cherish each and every gesture, prayer, meal brought in, and kind word expressed.

I have received grace and kindness, my friends. God has turned my baloney experience into a banquet of esteeming loving gestures and thoughts and prayers of health and good will.

It has been 4 1⁄2 weeks since surgery. I am now able to hobble about our condo sometimes with my walker, but most of the time without. I hold onto walls and furniture for balance and am making it OK. It’s not pretty, but I’m improving.

God’s grace IS sustaining Carolyn and me through it all. Her care for me is the BEST, and to my medical team – you are my heroes.

If you’ve ever gone through ‘baloney’ days, be encouraged. When you can’t give out as in days past, perhaps it is time to feast on the goodness of others. They will graciously take your ‘baloney’ offering and replace it with your own personal feast.

And know this ... God is nearby. Always and forever.

Morning Notes Blog Site

This is my morning reflection.

P Michael Biggs Hope~Encouragement~Inspiration