Under the Influence

I think a lot about the individuals and life experiences that have influenced me.  This is important and needs to be wrestled with, turned over, examined and contemplated.  I don’t know that you’ll find a four-point outline for how to undo certain influences, but at least you might find the courage to examine those experiences.

In my growing up years, I was a very compliant child.  I was expected to toe the mark, don’t make waves, don’t show off and “do what I say.”

Basically, I was being taught to not think for myself.  Let others do your thinking for you … parents, adults, the ‘church’.  I think I swallowed this mindset so much that I lost my will and my ability somewhere along the way to actually form a coherent thought and forge my own way.

That kind of influence is what shaped much of my growing up years.  Those

influencers had good motives.  Yet their influences influenced.

Thankfully, one fine day, I began the small steps toward self-understanding.  I found some books, and some authors and speakers who started to resonate with my heart and mind.  They began to show me a different way of viewing my life.  I could actually make good and healthy decisions for myself.  They taught me that I had some value and could be a contributing member in the world around me.  I just needed a huge dose of self-belief. 

They taught me some concepts and principles, and a new language of self-talk that has guided me to better places. 

And my spiritual mentors gave me insights into the nature of God and grace, forgiveness and redemption. 

My new influencers came from a variety of resources and individuals, and along the way I noticed a strengthening of my power of choice button, my discernment and my decision-making muscles.

This has been a tough journey, and I’m probably revealing my soul much more than I’m comfortable with and perhaps, more than you want to know.

However, this is so important that I dare to share it in hopes of helping someone else who struggles with major influencers in his/her life and you too are quietly, or not-so-quietly, floundering. 

So, what is my advice to you? 

You are better than you think you are.  You have a brain that works very well, and you can, to a large degree, reprogram it.  Just know that takes a lot of hard work and it is not a quick process.

Now, believing what I just wrote is the first step.  You ARE better than you think you are.  You have goals and dreams that are worthy of your efforts. 

Find some good mentors, either in person or through books and audio recordings.  Delve into some good and sound self-esteem teachings.  Find the voices that resonant with your inner nature.  And your mentors may hang out a shingle labeled, “Therapist”, “Counselor”, “Psychologist”, Psychotherapist.”

Pray to the God of your understanding.  I have found that God can handle anything that I throw at Him … awful thoughts, and angst and grief over anything that has ever happened in my life. 

Develop some strong affirmations that speak to your soul.  They could be Bible verses or other simple thoughts such as “I approve of myself.”  “God loves me as I am, not as I should be.”  “I am not my past.”  “I am not my mistakes.”

The beginning of this new journey is an important beginning.  Once started, never look back.  Hold forth an image of the healthy you, the sound and reasonable you.

I will pray for you.

This is my morning reflection.

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