I
think a lot about the individuals and life experiences that have influenced
me. This is important and needs to be
wrestled with, turned over, examined and contemplated. I don’t know that you’ll find a four-point
outline for how to undo certain influences, but at least you might find the
courage to examine those experiences.
In
my growing up years, I was a very compliant child. I was expected to toe the mark, don’t make
waves, don’t show off and “do what I say.”
Basically,
I was being taught to not think for myself.
Let others do your thinking for you … parents, adults, the
‘church’. I think I swallowed this
mindset so much that I lost my will and my ability somewhere along the way to
actually form a coherent thought and forge my own way.
That
kind of influence is what shaped much of my growing up years. Those
influencers had good motives. Yet their influences influenced.
Thankfully,
one fine day, I began the small steps toward self-understanding. I found some books, and some authors and
speakers who started to resonate with my heart and mind. They began to show me a different way of
viewing my life. I could actually make good and healthy decisions for
myself. They taught me that I had some
value and could be a contributing member in the world around me. I just needed a huge dose of
self-belief.
They
taught me some concepts and principles, and a new language of self-talk that
has guided me to better places.
And
my spiritual mentors gave me insights into the nature of God and grace,
forgiveness and redemption.
My
new influencers came from a variety of resources and individuals, and along the
way I noticed a strengthening of my power of choice button, my discernment and my decision-making muscles.
This
has been a tough journey, and I’m probably revealing my soul much more than I’m
comfortable with and perhaps, more than you want to know.
However,
this is so important that I dare to share it in hopes of helping someone else
who struggles with major influencers in his/her life and you too are quietly,
or not-so-quietly, floundering.
So,
what is my advice to you?
You
are better than you think you are. You
have a brain that works very well, and you can, to a large degree, reprogram it. Just know that takes a lot of hard work and
it is not a quick process.
Now,
believing what I just wrote is the first step.
You ARE better than you think
you are. You have goals and dreams that
are worthy of your efforts.
Find
some good mentors, either in person or through books and audio recordings. Delve into some good and sound self-esteem
teachings. Find the voices that resonant
with your inner nature. And your mentors
may hang out a shingle labeled, “Therapist”, “Counselor”, “Psychologist”,
Psychotherapist.”
Pray
to the God of your understanding. I have
found that God can handle anything that I throw at Him … awful thoughts, and
angst and grief over anything that has ever happened in my life.
Develop
some strong affirmations that speak to your soul. They could be Bible verses or other simple
thoughts such as “I approve of myself.” “God
loves me as I am, not as I should be.”
“I am not my past.” “I am not my
mistakes.”
The
beginning of this new journey is an important beginning. Once started, never look back. Hold forth an image of the healthy you, the
sound and reasonable you.
I
will pray for you.
This
is my morning reflection.
Words of Hope
Encouragement Inspiration
One Word at a Time
-->
