Do You Approve of Yourself

What a simple, innocent question this is – “Do I approve of myself”.  One would think the answer is a simple “YES”, and yet I know better. 

Self-acceptance, self-approval is a huge issue.  We do some amazingly daring acts, all in an effort to gain approval from others because we don’t trust ourselves.  We don’t approve of ourselves.

I never get far from what Oprah said on her last TV show. 

“I’ve talked to nearly 30,000 people on this show, and all 30,000 had one thing in common – they all wanted validation.  They wanted to know, ‘Do you hear me?  Do you see me?  Does what I say mean anything to you?’”

You see, these 30,000 people of which Oprah speaks are representative of you and me.  We, too, cry for this validation thing. 

We live our ‘lives of quiet desperation’ never believing we were worthy of anything.  We live our lives never approving of who we are and accepting the uniqueness that lies in each of us. 

We are afraid of our own brand, our own goodness.  We are afraid of the God-spark that resides inside our own heart and soul. 

I grew up in a put-down environment.  I could not live out loud as most kids do.  I had to ‘toe the mark’ and not make waves.  I did not approve of myself.  I could not approve of myself.

However, one fine day I discovered four words strung together in a magazine article that broke through my cloud of self-doubt.  Those four words were “I APPROVE OF MYSELF.”

I have never forgotten that moment.  For me, it was a monumental day in my life.  To think that I could be OK, I could accept myself, in all my finery and all my blunders.  Well, I’ve never gotten over that.  And I in earnest began setting my course to help others in this struggle as well.

I realized it was OK to pick myself.  I had good stuff inside of me, and I could embrace my good side and not come off as a braggart or a show-off.

Notice I said, “pick myself.”  No one came along and put a label on me that said “approved”, “validated”, “you are officially good and well”.

The hardest work for me was actually believing what I had just read – that I could approve of myself without anyone’s permission.  

I made a small laminated card that I carried in my pocket and it said, “I Approve of Myself”.  For months on end I carried that card everywhere I went, and a dozen times a day I would pull it out and read those words. 

And I began believing those words.

And now, dear reader … what about you?  Do you approve of yourself? 

I hope you find the courage to take that major step into some self-validation and self-acceptance.  The old negative voices can be silenced.  You can gain ground.  You can reach a new level and a new understanding of freedom and unity within your own heart and mind.

Freedom!  Hmm.

It’s frightening to be free. 

My friend Seth says it this way.

Seth Godin -What to do when It’s your turn

I have a choice, and I boldly embrace it. 

I approve of myself. 

Let’s start a club.

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