When Gremlins Speak

Some of us have heard Gremlin voices a thousand times, and the words are killing us inside.

They sound like this …

“You’re not good enough. “

“I know things that happened to you growing up.”

“I saw what you did in 3^rd grade, or during your senior year, or on that job site at the lake, or-or-or.”

“You just think you’re somebody.  Well let me tell you …”

“Who do you think you are?”

“You’re nothing special.”

What are these voices doing?  They are trying to shame us.

Sometimes I give voice to the gremlins.  I become the critic and shame myself.

“I’ll never be good enough.”

“Oh I don’t deserve that.”

“Oh I could never do that.”

“Who do I think I am?”

“I can’t pull that off.”

Here’s the point:

We occasionally do bad things.

That does not mean we are bad people.

Quiet the voice that says “Loser.”

Stop the song of “I’m a horrible person.”

Guilt can be dealt with.  I can admit my faults.  They can be improved upon.

But shame … silence the voice of shame forever.

Brené Brown, shame researcher and author of Daring Greatly, talks candidly about this topic. 

She says this:

“Shame is not guilt.”

“Guilt is a focus on behavior.”

“Shame is a focus on self.”

“Shame is ‘I am bad’.”

“Guilt is I did something bad.”

“Shame is highly correlated with addiction, depression, violence, aggression, bullying, eating disorders, and suicide.”

“Shame for women is a web of unattainable, conflicting, competing expectations of who we should be.”

“For men, shame is ‘don’t be perceived as weak’.”

We need to find our way back to each other.  The road to take is “empathy.”

Brené continues:  Two powerful empathy words are “Me too.”

Me too makes us human.  It puts us in the boat without the shame.

Brené says “if you put empathy in a Petri dish with shame, shame cannot grow.”

The “me too” expression adds the human factor and helps eliminate the isolation that accompanies shame.

I've taken this topic as far as I dare.  Now, I must turn you over to Brené’s book if you are interested in reading more. 

 Order your copy of 

Daring Greatly from my 

Amazon bookstore 

by clicking here.

P Michael Biggs

Offering Hope

Encouragement Inspiration

One Word at a Time