We Learn Each Other's Worth

We Learn Each Other’s Worth

What a worthy thought – We have to learn each other’s worth. 

I’ve had this in my idea file for a while now and no one seems to know who first said it.  However, it is a valid idea.

I am a step-father to three incredible adult individuals.  I came into their lives twelve years ago.  At first, there was nothing on which to build our relationship except their mother and I were deeply in love.  I think they reluctantly accepted that, and in time we, both sides of this picture, have learned each other’s worth.  Their fears centered around …

   ~Who is this guy?

   ~Can we trust him?

   ~Is he going to break her heart in short order?

   ~And our kids … he’s going to be around our kids.

And the song goes on. 

In time, trust came and we quickly learned of each other’s worth and value. 

That’s the way it is in relationships.  We settle in and show our value, our worth, our good traits. 

It is natural, in the beginning, to not trust someone new.  I’ve heard too many horror stories of this regarding the step-child/step-parent role.  I had it lucky.  Carolyn’s kids were all in their thirties.  Smaller children have the hard part.  They have no history, no past, no memories on which to build.  They – both sides – have to learn each other’s worth.

It cannot be forced, it cannot be bought, and it cannot be phony on either side. 

I am now in that situation in my job.  I move from one location to another as a float.  If it is a new branch to me, I do not know anyone, except by name only, and they only know I’m there for a short time.  They don’t know of my capabilities, my operating style, will they like me, or anything else except for a day or two, or perhaps a week or two, they have me and I have them. 

Here’s what I know about that, for anybody facing a situation in which you are interacting in new relationships.

~I’m not there to change their ways to my ways.  I am a support person.

~I’m not there to forge best-friend relationships right off the bat.  Rarely does that happen.

~I’m there to do the best job I can and support the team in any way I can.

~We earn our place in every societal experience we face.  We EARN!

This is an interesting post to me.  I didn’t intend to write something like this today.  However, here it is. 

Hope it hits someone’s good nerve as you face a new situation.  Let me know if that is so.

This is my

morning reflection.

Morning Notes Blog Site

P Michael Biggs

Words of Hope

Encouragement

Inspiration

Feelings Versus Thinking

Feelings Versus Thinking

It appears that we live in an age when ‘feelings’ override ‘thinking’.  And so, we trust our feelings.

I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty sure my feelings have been wrong a time or two in my life.  I dated a girl named Cynthia once.  I had a love ‘feeling’ for her, yet I saw all kinds of danger signs.  I’m surly glad my feelings did not prevail.

I’ve been given advice by others who used the term “I have a feeling you should do such-n-such.”

Any more, I’m trying to weigh feelings against reason and sound thinking and governing my life in sight of those strengths.  You and I have good minds.  We’re smart people.  We can think through a thing.  Emotions, feelings are going to crop up, and we learn how to weigh a ‘feeling’ against sound thinking. 

It’s a worthy thought.  I trust ‘feelings’ less.

I trust my mind, my thought processes, and the wisdom of others more.

This is my

morning reflection.

Morning Notes Blog Site

Words of Hope

Encouragement

Inspiration

What If the Answer is "Yes"?

What If the Answer Is “Yes”

Seriously … the answer may be as simple as “yes”.  Let’s push this thought for a small bit.

Yes … I can see myself doing that thing.

Yes … I have the desire for that kind of action.  Now what do I do about it?

Yes … I want that job, so I’m going to go after it.

Yes … I am going to lose weight.

Yes … I can write that book/novel/blog post/letter and I’ll start today.

Yes … I can say “yes” to life.

Leonard Bernstein said this about that:

I’m no longer quite sure

what the question is,

but I do know

that the answer is “Yes”.

 What if the answer is … if you believe it you can achieve it?

This is my

morning reflection.

Morning Notes Blog Site

Words of Hope

Encouragement

Inspiration

A Little Watering

A Little Watering

Once upon a time there was a peach tree.  From the outside appearance, this tree was all dried up, useless, and not worth much.  In the summer, when fruit bearing season came along, this peach tree put out warts instead of peaches.  Needless to say, they were dried up and very small. Even the crows left them along, if crows indeed eat peaches. 

One fine March, I decided to give this tree one more season before chopping it down.  I soon came to realize that maybe this tree simply needed watering.  So, every afternoon when I got home, I faithfully watered the tree.  Some evenings, it seems I stood for nearly an hour simply holding the garden hose to the base of the peach tree.

Time passed.  When the peaches came in later that season, my Albuquerque peach tree produced peaches in bushels and basketfuls.  They were large and juicy and sweet peaches.

You see.  My peach tree simply needed a bit of watering.  Just some faithful watering.

Once upon a time, in a galaxy, far, far away, there lived a skinny nine year old boy.  He wore tattered jeans, dirty tennis shoes and a ball cap.  His hang-down expression pretty much summed up the story of his life.  You see, he never heard much in the way of kind and positive words.  He heard plenty of “don’t do that.  Stop that boy.  Get away from there.  What do you think you’re doing?”

One fine day a wise, older man came into the young boy’s life.  He expected to hear the same barrage of put-down’s he had heard for most of his life.

Instead, he heard words like, “Good job.  You did that well.  I like the way you did that.  Where did you learn to do that?  That is outstanding.”

Our young lad grew.  He replayed the words of the kind and gracious old man.  He began to see himself remade in the image of the esteem that he heard from his older mentor.  

He grew. 

Not so much in size and height – but in terms of an inside job.  He saw himself as a capable, useful and worthwhile human being. 

He became a believer in himself because he saw himself through the eyes of an encourager. 

The old man simply watered the young man.  He poured on him water of encouraging words, and gave him a coat of “self-belief.”

The end!

But really, it is only the beginning.  To whom can you give words of esteem and encouragement?

   A child

      An employee

         A neighbor

            A nephew or niece

Pass it along -- words of esteem that is.

This Is My Morning Reflection. 

P Michael Biggs

Up-Words Web Site

Offering Hope

Encouragement 
Inspiration