I Flunked Snorkeling

We are in Kona, Hawaii as I write this, and this memory is fresh in my mind. 

Carolyn and I have planned this trip for several months and in our planning and dreaming one of the activities she always mentioned is that she wanted us to go snorkeling.  I agreed all those months ago, but in the pit of my stomach I had a fear and a dread of that activity ever happening. 

We arrived in Kona on a Saturday and settled into a good easy vacation pace.  Nothing more was said of us going snorkeling until Wednesday.  When asked if I would go of course I said “yes”. 

On Wednesday afternoon we went out and bought our tickets and made our plans.

Thursday came and I was feeling pretty good about this outing after all.  We boarded the boat with about thirty other eager snorkelers and away we went.

The trip out to Captain Cook’s Cove took about an hour and it was a lovely boat ride.  Of course it was lovely – this is Hawaii.

We rounded the bend to the cove and the captain slowed down to a crawl allowing the boat to slowly move into position.  We went through the orientation, they passed out the flippers and other gear and we got all gathered up for this adventure. 

I opted for the view box, which meant I had flippers, an inner-tube and a box with a large viewing window on the bottom affording me a magnificent view of the sea life. 

We were some of the last ones off the boat and into the water.  I put the inner-tube around my waist, gently climbed down the stairs.  All the time I’m thinking “I want to do this.  Can I do this?  I sort of think I can do this.  Will this tube hold me up?”

Just before I pushed off from the boat, I asked the crew member if he was sure this tube would hold me up.

He assured me it would, so I gently pushed off.  His parting words to me were “Make sure and lean forward over the leading edge of the tube.”  I thought – sure, no problem.

And I did. 

I got my first glimpse of the world alive just fifteen feet below me in the sea and for a few minutes I managed. 

I’m not sure what happened next.  I felt my feet start to sink.  I couldn’t seem to move in any direction except I felt I was sinking down.  I was in panic mode and I couldn’t do anything right to correct my posture.

Thankfully Carolyn was nearby and I said to her “I have to get out of here.  I feel like I’m drowning.”  She held onto me as I finally managed the turn around and headed back to the boat which was fifteen feet away

My incredible wife – love her to death – was all encouragement and concern.  When I managed to grab onto the boat with her by my side, I felt immense relief and a good amount of shame.

Yes - shame. 

Here I was – a sixty-seven-year-old man who is constantly encouraging others to go and be and do, face danger, try for your goals, and I failed at this thing called snorkeling. 

I wanted Carolyn to have her bucket-list opportunity and immediately told her to go ahead.  I was fine now that I was on board, and with a brief moment of concern she swam away, knowing I was safely on board. 

She had the time of her life and we have the pictures to prove it.  I enjoyed her enjoyment of living into her bucket-list dream. 

And now, two days later – I’m still mulling over what happened to me in that moment. 

I felt fear.

I felt panic.

I felt out of control.

Later, in conversation, Carolyn helped me put some of this into perspective by my acknowledging to myself what I needed to do to feel safe. 

I’m still trying to come to full grips with that – but I think she is right.  For that moment in time I was not up to this adventure. 

However, I had the good sense to realize it and then make the necessary corrections to get back to a safe place.

Wow!  I think in some large way that is a huge concept.  Life can scare us; certain opportunities can scare us.  I think this – if I could have been in a less threatening space where I could feel the security of the solid sand under my feet when needed it would have helped. 

Translation – we attempt the bigger adventures in increments.  I think I bit off more than I was prepared for on Thursday.  My steps were too large.  I needed a smaller step.  Can you relate? 

Here is the main point ...

I failed to successfully snorkel on Thursday. 

However, I am not a failure.

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