Carolyn Left Me Today

Carolyn Left Me Today

Now before you go off on a tangent keep reading.  Carolyn did leave me today; only to fly to Phoenix to visit her parents. 

Shook you up there for a moment didn’t I? 

I just wanted your attention.  I’ve got something kind of important to say.

As we were nearing the airport, having light conversation, Carolyn turned to me and said.  “One thing I know as I go on this trip is that my emotional cup is very full because of your love and the way you care for me.”

What an incredible thing to hear.

We both happen to believe that we are in a blessed marriage where love, trust and esteem reign.  We fill each other’s buckets; and often. 

We talk, we listen, we take time for each other; we frequently call in the middle of our day just for no reason, except to say three bucket-filling words.  “I Love You.”

How did I get so lucky in finding a soul mate like my wife?

I’m not a trained therapist, nor a marriage counselor, not even a relationship expert, but as I think about this blog today, some things come to my mind that I believe make a huge difference in our relationship.  May I share them with you?

1.  We love.  We find ways of loving each other.  Sometimes it is a phone call.  Sometimes it’s a $5 bunch of flowers from Pike Place Market.  Sometimes I make Carolyn breakfast or she’ll surprise me with a special meal.  All of those things say “I love you.”  “I cherish you.”  “I adore you.”  And we say the words too, every day – several times a day. 

2. We play.  We both carry a heavy work schedule, but we live for Thursday and Friday.  Those are our days to spend together and we pack a lot into those days.  We do some “on-purpose” living on “our” days.  Sometimes it’s a trip to a museum, or to the beach, or playing with grandchildren.  We’ve caught more sunsets during our nearly five years of marriage than I’ve caught in all the rest of my life put together.  We plan and we play on our days off together.

3. We talk.  No, seriously – we talk.  At meals, in the morning while getting ready, and any other time we are together, there is conversation.  And especially at night, when I come home, we make a point of stopping what we are doing; we embrace, we kiss, and before I begin working on my blogs and other writing projects, I push the computer aside, Carolyn stops working on whatever she is doing, and we sit on the bed and talk about our day.  Sometimes it only takes five or ten minutes.  Sometimes we need thirty minutes.  Regardless, we focus on each other, we make eye contact, and we are in the moment…together.  This is huge! 

4. We laugh.  During our phone chats each day I always look for something to say to crack her up.  And I’m getting pretty good at it!  We laugh easily together.  We enjoy life, together.  And we love, together.

All of these points simply add up to this:  we fill each other’s bucket.  We don’t dip into each other’s bucket with hurtful, sassy, demeaning comments.  We esteem one another.  We look for the good.  We try to say words that heal, not words that hurt.  What a way to relate, not just to each other, but to anyone we encounter. 

Our buckets are very full.

Okay, that’s enough.  What about you and your relationships?

Hope you will look for ways to fill the buckets to the brim of those you love.

Now, when is she coming back?  I miss my best friend!