And now, the story.
“Many people who missed out on hearing words of blessing take the road of withdrawal. Convinced they can do nothing to earn words of love and acceptance, they give up and travel down the road of apathy, depression, and finally withdrawal.
“A classic example of this is found in a film that circulated several years ago. As the movie opened, we saw several children waiting for their school bus. The sun is out on a cold January morning. Snow covers the rural countryside like a beautiful, white blanket.
“All bundled up for winter, a few of the children are making snowballs and throwing them at a fence. Others laugh and talk and stomp their feet trying to stay warm; all except Roger.
“Standing by himself at the edge of the group, Roger is starring down at the ground. Several children run right by him in excited conversation; others crowd around him when the bus finally comes, But Roger never looked up, and the other children never spoke to him or acknowledged his existence. It’s almost as if he was invisible.
“The children were eager to see who could get on the bus first. They rushed to their seats, happy to be out of the cold air; all that is, except Roger.
“Being the last one on the bus, he wearily mounted the steps as if climbing each step required a monumental effort. He stopped briefly and looked expectantly into the faces of the other children, but no one invited him to sit with them.
“Heaving a sigh, he slumped into a seat behind the driver.
“The driver slammed the door, released the compressed air breaks. He took one look behind him to make sure the road was clear and then slowly pulled away from the curb.
“After only a few miles, Roger suddenly dropped his books and staggered to his feet. Standing next to the driver, steadying himself on a metal pole, Roger had a wild and distant look in his eyes.
“Shocked by his sudden ill appearance, the bus driver asked, “Are you all right? Are you sick or something? What’s the matter, kid?”
“Roger didn’t answer, and half out of frustration, half out of concern, the driver pulled over to the side of the road and opened the door.
“Roger walked down the steps of the bus and suddenly pitched forward into the snow. As the opening scene ends, we see the bus driver standing over Roger’s body, and we hear an ambulance siren in the distance, but somehow you know its coming will be too late.
“This scene is from the excellent educational film A Cipher in the Snow, a film designed for teachers but one that speaks to anyone concerned about nurturing and helping others grow and succeed. It is a true story of a young boy who actually died on the way to school one day and the resulting confusion over the reasons.
“Medical records indicated no history or problems in either Roger or his family. Even the autopsy shed no light on his death. Only after an interested teacher looked into his school and family background were the reasons for his death discovered.
“This teacher found that Roger’s life had been systematically erased like a blackboard. In his first few years at school, he had done well, up until problems began at home. His parent’s marriage had disintegrated, and a new step-father on the scene never had time for Roger.
“When Roger’s mother tried to pay some attention to him, the new step-father would get jealous and find ways to limit the time she and Roger were together. Like being pushed away from a seat near the fireplace, Roger was now left with only the cold ache of indifference.
“As a reaction to his home life, Roger’s school work suffered. Homework assignments were either turned in late or not at all. Tired of his apparent apathy, his teachers gave up on him and left him to work alone. He began withdrawing from the other school children. Roger would not begin a conversation, and soon other children wouldn’t bother to try. Roger was retreating into a world of silence.
“In only a few months, everything and everyone of value to Roger had either been lost or taken from him. With no words of encouragement, he felt like a cipher -- an empty zero.
“Roger was not killed by an infirmity or a wound. He was killed by a lack of words of love and acceptance. Roger withstood the painful silence for as long as he could. Ultimately, however, the lack of a word of kindness and esteem from his family and friends acted like a deadly cancer. After months of pursuing its course, it finally ate away his will to live. He died -- a cipher in the snow -- believing he was totally alone and unwanted.
“Are words or their absence really that powerful? The wise man, Solomon, thought so. In the Bible, Proverbs 18:21 says this. 'Death and life are in the power of the tongue.'
“If we struggle with speaking words of love and acceptance to our family or friends, another proverb should encourage us. Again, it is Solomon writing. 'Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to do so.' (Proverbs 3:27)”
It’s your move.
Go to someone right now. Say the words of love and esteem. You just might make a difference in one person today.
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