Four Things to Say

I am big on words and the power of words, for I believe that the words we use in everyday conversations have the power to heal others. 

That is a strong statement, yet it is true.  Words can heal.  

They can heal …

  Broken hearts

    Relationships

      Family wounds

I am barely into a new book, yet I dare to write about it already, meaning this is not the last time you’ll hear from this book.  It is titled The Four Things that Matter Most by Ira Byock, M.D.

I’m going to give the story away right off the bat. The four things you must say to the most important people in your life are these:

1.     Please forgive me.

2.    I forgive you.

3.    Thank you.

4.    I love you.

Even as I type these phrases I can feel emotions well up from within.  I can reflect on times when I’ve asked for and received forgiveness.

I recall a time or two when I was the one offering forgiveness.

I say “thank you” a dozen times a day or more, and still yet need to offer those words more.

And the “I love you” words … my goodness, I have a lot to say on that one.

If you missed this point in an earlier blog, I told the story of occasionally sharing a Sabbath experience with Carolyn’s son J Paul and his family.  The Sabbath time is a time of feasting, game playing and sharing.  The sharing is done with a cup of water and a towel. 

As the cup is passed from Carolyn to me, she says “Michael, you are loved and forgiven.”

I would then take the cup and towel and pass it on to the person on the other side of me and say the same words.

I can’t begin to tell you how this moves me each time we share in this experience.  I hope you will try it in your intimate circle of family and close friends.  Write to me and tell me of your experience.

For those who know me from my Toastmaster’s days, you’ll recognize the similarity between these four phrases and the speech I’ve given dozens of times now called “Wanted – The Three I’s”.

I hope you’ll stay tuned, for I’ll break each word phrase down over the next four weeks and explore each with you a bit.  It would be fun if you chose to buy the book and read along as we go through this series.  I imagine this will prove to be one of the more significant books in my library and one into which I will dip often.

P Michael Biggs

Up-Words Web Site

Offering Hope

Encouragement Inspiration

One Word at a Time