Friday, January 29, 2010

Help Us to Pay Attention

During my growing up years in Tennessee my Dad was a minister. Most of those years were spent in Lewisburg, Tennessee in a church that my father helped establish and he, along with others in town actually built the building.

I have some fond memories of those times and especially the people. Some of those individuals left important marks on my character and early development.

One in particular was a gentleman named Uncle Ed. Uncle Ed was an elderly bachelor gentleman who attended our church. I don’t remember a lot about his background, as he was an older man by the time I began remembering him, but I do remember he was very faithful to the church in attendance and support. He was there every time the doors were opened, meaning Sunday morning, Sunday evening and Wednesday night prayer service.

Uncle Ed always sat on the third pew from the front on the left side, and he would sit sideways, facing to his left, with his arm on the back of the seat and his head down. At times we thought he was nodding off to sleep, but he would find ways of letting us know that he was paying keen attention all of the time.

On one particularly hot July Sunday night, my Dad was preaching about women’s dress of the day. In an effort to make a particular point Dad said,

“I tell you the women’s hem lines are getting higher and the neck lines are getting lower!”

Uncle Ed popped up and said, “Amen, Lord. Help us to pay attention.”

That’s a funny story, and it begs to be dealt with, doesn’t it? “Help us to pay attention!”

As a parent, we pay attention to the nurture and development of our children. Who and what are the influences on their lives? What are their eating habits? Sleep patterns? Are they playing safely? Do they look both ways before crossing the street?

In a dating relationship the questions get more interesting. To whom am I attracted? What about personality and looks? Where will we live? What boundaries and guidelines will we abide by in our relationship?

During my single years, after my divorce, I was dating a woman and I had hopes that some day we might get married. I knew we weren’t exactly clicking in every way and I knew we were treading in troubled waters much of the time, yet I still held on to the dream of us one day resolving our difficulties and making our lives together.

I shared some of our relationship struggles with a very good friend whose opinions and judgments I highly valued. At one point in our conversation he asked me “Michael, what are you pretending not to know?” That is a sobering question. It’s another way of saying “Are you pay attention?”

On the job there are dozens of norms to which we must pay attention. What is the start time? What about breaks? What is considered reimbursable expenses? How much vacation time do I get? What is the culture of the work place and of the company for which I work?

To be a loving husband, I pay attention to my wife’s tone of voice. I notice if she is a bit down emotionally and find ways to lift her spirits, or at least listen and let her express herself.

We can only hope economists, bankers and others in financial power positions are paying attention to this current recession and recognizing the causes and cures for it.

Proof readers have to be extra diligent in paying attention to do a proper job of editing and correcting the written word for mass distribution.

When dealing with people are we noticing their body stance? Do they look interested or are they turned away from us as if they wish to escape? Do they look at you, a little or a lot? How close or far apart do they stand from you?

By now, I’m sure you get the point.

I have had some moments in my life when I wasn’t paying enough attention and I’ve had to pay a price for those lapses. Can I see a show of hands on that point?

Two nights ago, on my way home from work, I narrowly missed ramming into the automobile in front of me because I was not paying attention. Thankfully I looked up in time. (I know, don’t text on your cell phone and drive.)

“Help us to pay attention!”

A prayer
A thought
A motto
A way to live
__________________

Michael Biggs is a speaker, writer, speech coach and vocal soloist. He lives in Edmonds, WA. with his wife Carolyn. His company is called Up-Words, “Offering Hope, Encouragement, and Inspiration One Word at a Time”. He is available to speak to your business or organization. Please contact him at 206-349-1888 or email him at michael@up-words.net.

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