Mistakes Stumbles Progress

One of the subjects I’ve written about often is at the heart of this one today. 

To set the stage for you, this is meant to be a purely inspirational and motivational piece of writing.

Let’s start with this quote.

Mistakes are necessary.

Stumbles are normal.

These are baby steps.

Progress, not perfection,

is what we should be

asking of ourselves.

~Julia Cameron – The Artist’s Way

I don’t know of too many perfect people.  Even the best Christian I know is far from perfect.  Tellers in banks are supposed to be perfect.  Their cash box must balance at the end of the day with a $0.00 difference from their morning balance. 

Otherwise, life goes on for the rest of us.  We are mortal.  We live and die.  We think – sometimes with great acuity and at other times with great dunce-like floundering.

I love the phrase above – “These are baby steps.” 

BABY STEPS!  Who can’t relate to that?  I have a picture of my grand-son Eliot just as he is learning to walk.  Last week he turned six.  In this picture he is somewhere between 12 and 18 months.  

Just like all children, he stumbled, fell, and got back up hundreds of times.  

And so should you and I. 

You should see some stuff I wrote thirty years ago.  Actually you should not.

The bottom line is this – we get better. 

We Get Better.

I’m on a new eating regime.  I have gone gluten-free, sugar free and dairy-free.  Just last week I had some serious symptoms of sugar withdrawal, and I wanted to get my sugar fix.  And I overcame!

I made progress.  And now, one week later, those symptoms have pretty much left me alone.  For this sugar addict, that is a major accomplishment.

I wrote a piece a few years ago called Sometimes Ice Skaters Fall Down.  It, too, is at the heart of what I’m talking about here.

We grow every day.  We learn every day.  And some days are better than others.  It is a matter of moving in the right direction more than it is in doing it perfectly. 

Are you a studying some overwhelming subject?  You’ll learn and lose along the way.  You’ll learn new material and then promptly forget what you learned, however, keep on trying.  The brain has to go through a processing stage with the new information you’ve learned, and sooner or later you will master the material if you have fortitude and discipline.  I assure you of that.

My early years as a singer were painful for me and for my audience.  I sang flat, and I learned.

My early years as a drummer were fraught with dropped drum sticks on several occasions.  I learned to hold onto those sooner or later.

Some wise people say, and I agree, that if you are making mistakes and stumbles that is a good thing.  That means you are trying.

YOU ARE TRYING SOMETHING NEW!  Good for you.

And now it is time to close. 

Remember this …

P Michael Biggs

Up-Words Web Site

Offering Hope

Encouragement Inspiration

One Word at a Time

The Great Hunger

  

“There is more hunger for love

and appreciation in this world

than for bread.”

~Mother Teresa

The great cry of the human heart is to be recognized – to be valued an appreciated.  Mother Teresa’s quote resonates with my heart.  People from all stripes of life desire this, and I am dedicating my life to offering hope, encouragement and inspiration one word at a time to all of mankind. 

Last night Carolyn and I ate at one of our favorite places near Greenlake here in Seattle.  Our wait-person was a pretty 22-year-old and it was her second day on the job.  As she greeted us she said “It’s nice to see you.  How has your day been?”  We responded and then I asked, “And how are you doing?”

Here response:  “I’m doing great, and thanks for asking.”

She is a waitress.  She serves the public and she is eager to do a good job.  And she is just like you and I – she hungers for recognition and to be valued. 

She has good days, bad days, bills to pay, relationships to manage, and a family that lives 1000 miles away.  And she is new to Seattle and learning a new town and a making a new life. 

And yet the hunger persists.

I remember something Oprah Winfrey said on her last TV broadcast. 

“I’ve talked to nearly 30,000 people 

on this show, and all of them 

had one thing in common;

They all wanted validation.”

Every person with whom you rub elbows is seeking an affirming word.  I readily see this here in Seattle and from the many readers who have corresponded with me at one time or another. 

Oprah also added this:  “Every person you meet is asking:

   “Do you see me? 

    Do you hear me? 

    Does what I say mean anything to you?”

People will respond to the right word spoken at the right time. 

My message for all of us is this:  Share a good word with those around you.  And when you do, you are adding a measure of strength to their being, and those words you say contain the seeds for helping them build their own validity within.

Will you join this army of encouragers?

I hope so.

And now, if you sometimes long for a word of hope, encouragement and insight, consider these.

You are now empowered!  

Go and live the full life 

God intends for you to live. 

P Michael Biggs

Up-Words Web Site

Offering Hope

Encouragement Inspiration

One Word at a Time

The Power of Influence

One of my life goals is to be a significant influence on people with whom I come into contact.  How?  Encouragement.

How many influencers have you had in your life?  Was their influence something they said or something they did?

Can you name the person or persons who influenced you to pursue the line of work you presently pursue? 

Can you name the person whose style you emulate in music, or writing, or management, cooking or child rearing? 

And now you understand the power of influence

John C. Maxwell stated it very clearly:  “Anybody who helps somebody influences a lot of bodies.”  Your influence on another person influences those extended “other bodies” as well.

I’ve had some strong mentors in my life.  Many of them have been dead for years.  Others have spoken to my heart through books and audio recordings.

Everybody wants to be a “somebody”, and they need people like us to come along side of them, place a reassuring hand on their shoulder and say the words that reveal the bigger picture of who or what they may become. 

Listen to this:

~Most people don’t have faith in themselves.  

~They believe they will fail.  They see a light at the end of the proverbial tunnel and think it is a train coming at them. 

~They see a difficulty in everything in life.

~Most people don’t have even one person who has faith in them.

And the interesting fact is this:  Most people will do anything to live up to your faith in them.  They want someone to have faith in them.

I love this John Maxwell quote: 

Do you want to be a person of influence?  Consider this.

Mary Kay Ash says this:  Imagine every person you meet is wearing an invisible sign around their neck and the sign says:  “Make me feel important.”

What better influence could we choose to be than one who makes others feel they matter?

And one more thought.

P Michael Biggs

Up-Words Web Site

Offering Hope

Encouragement Inspiration

One Word at a Time

When the Fit Shouldn't Fit

Have you heard some of these saying?
  Fits like a hand in a glove.
    Fits like two peas in a pod.
      They go together like Mutt and Jeff.
        Like jam and peanut butter.

When things fall in place it is like magic. When two pieces or two people fit together, you can see and sense the harmony at play. I love that.

I want to tell you a true story from when we lived in Nashville.

When I was four, my Mom and Dad were getting all of us ready to go to some event on a Saturday afternoon. Mom got me ready and then left to attend to one of my other siblings.

I stayed in her room and was looking over her dressing table. I found a box of plastic snap-together pearls that I just couldn’t resist. For some unexplained reason, I wanted to see how many of those pearls I could stick up my nose. I got three pearls up my nose before I decided I’d better stop and remove them or face the consequences.

I was able to remove two of them, but the last pearl was jammed in too high. It was lodged far up my nostril and I could not get it out.

Mom came back into her room to give me one last going-over before we left for our event. As was her habit, Mom used a hair pin to clean my ears and nose. When she put the bobby pin up my nose, she heard a click. She pushed a bit more and mused to herself, “What in the world?” She tilted my head back and saw this shiny orb starring back at her.

She called out to my Dad, “Jay, come here!”

Dad called back, “What’s the matter Mother?”

“There’s something wrong with Mike.”

Dad came, shined a flash light up my nose and saw the shinny pearl. He asked, “What have you done boy?” I had to tell.

He took me immediately to the Dr. Jackson’s office on the corner just across from our house.

Dr. Jackson laid me out on the examination table, shined a light up my nose and began pressing and probing on my nose.

All of a sudden he pulled on my arm and jerked me up off that table and put his hand under my mouth and the pearl rolled onto his outstretched hand.

That was amazing.

Years later, here is what I take away from this story.

Just because it fits, doesn’t mean it fits. Those pearls fitted perfectly in my nose, but they didn’t belong in my nose.

How many times have we tried to make things fit just because “it would be nice”, or “it looks so great on me”, or even “but I like her, she’s pretty”.

Sometimes we make things fit, like jobs, because “it is such a great company,” or “it’s in a great city and we have always wanted to live there.”

My friend Kris went to work one day with a brown shoe on the left foot and a black shoe on the right. They both fit his feet, but they didn’t “fit” from a fashion standpoint.

I read Strength Finder recently and took the assessment test on line. Now I have a better idea of my own personal skill set that fits me perfectly.

I’ve had some amazing careers already, yet my favorite is this writing and speaking thing that I do. It fits me perfectly.

What works for you? What fits your life and interests?

I hope you are making good choices, not forced choices, but good ones. And always remember this …

P Michael Biggs

Up-Words Web Site

Offering Hope

Encouragement Inspiration

One Word at a Time

Holding Hands

I’ll tell you right up front that I am going to go in two different directions with this post so hang on. 

Part One

Have you ever tried to hold hands with God? 

I don’t think that is possible, however, I do think God can hold my hand and that makes all the difference in the world.  I am using a metaphoric play on words here, and I know my readers are smart enough to catch my drift.

When I join hands with my grandkids I’m the one doing the holding.  I don’t want them darting out into traffic, or falling or wandering away.  I want to hold my grandkids hands. 

And I want God to hold my hand.  I can be strong-willed at times and I don’t always make great decisions.  When I really give up my will in the hand-holding and allow God to lead the dance, I find that things seem to work out better.  My life becomes a bit more orderly and my timing improves. 

When God holds my hand, He knows what is best for me and that includes all the details down to who, what, where, when and why.  Have I ever stepped out of line with God before? Absolutely.  And I always find a way to wander back by His side and slide my hand into His and allow the dance to continue and allow Him to lead the way. 

Part Two

And my second thought is this …

The hand I hold is the hand I love the most,

for it leads to the heart that loves me like I’ve never been loved before.  Carolyn and I love to hold hands as we walk.  Just tonight after dinner we took a walk up Sunset and back to our car.  We held hands for 99% of the way.  We broke long enough to smell some lovely roses and maneuver a broken part of the sidewalk.

Carolyn not only holds my hand, she holds my heart.  She holds my secrets, my dreams, and my bucket list.

She also holds my broken moments, the stuff we talk about that I share with no one else.  She knows how I really feel about a lot of stuff, and she loves me through it all.

And I do so for her.  When she comes home after a long day of teaching, I stop writing and take my hands off the keyboard.  Those first few moments when we come back together after being apart are critical.  

We also make a habit of rarely ever pulling out our cell phones during a meal. We would rather talk and listen, and look each other in the eyes.

We focus on each other when we talk.  In the automobile, she reads to me as we drive, and we’ve read some amazing books during our almost nine years of marriage. 

I hope you’re holding a hand that leads to your lover’s heart.  I hope your hand and mind and eyes and heart are totally open to receive all that your partner offers you.  I hope you find a lot to talk about, laugh about, and explore together. 

I hope you discover that the hand you hold is the hand that is holding you back.

Thanks for taking this walk with us tonight.

P Michael Biggs

Up-Words Web Site

Offering Hope

Encouragement Inspiration

One Word at a Time

Instruments of Healing

In our advanced medical society mankind has created an amazing array of instruments that are used in healing.  Some are large, expensive and foreboding.  Others are small and sharp, and require great skill in simply

manipulating them. 

And the greatest instrument of healing available to us is …

Our Words.

“Honest, heartfelt, well-chosen words have the power to heal us and make us whole.”  (That is a quote from The Four Things that Matter Most by Ira Byock, M.D.)

In our quest to develop good and wholesome relationship we use words as our main tools.  Often, misunderstandings can arise.  Feelings can get stepped on.  And the right words can help move us toward the emotions of love and trust. 

I remember when Carolyn and I were in the beginning days of our relationship.  As she expressed it, my words to her offered healing, reassurance, emotional support and a sense of trust and belonging.  A few years before we met she had come through a rather painful experience. 

Words were very important, and so were the actions to follow.  I’m thankful she accepted my words and my actions, for we are approaching our ninth wedding anniversary.

The words we hear in everyday life can have such a profound influence on us that words can raise or lower blood pressure, elevate skin temperature, and enhance our concentration or disturb it as we try and process the words we’ve just heard.

A quick example:  During my days of being a youth minister, I had it said to me once that “You are an accident looking for a place to happen.”  Even thirty-eight years later those words still have some sting to them.

Words can bring others back from the abyss of despair and hopelessness.

I remember reading How to Win Friends and Influence People.  Dale Carnegie tells the story of a poorly dressed beggar he met on the street.  Considering his book and the principles he had promoted, he wanted to throw this man a lifeline of hope rather than ignore him.  He looked the man up and down and finally said, “I like how neatly your shoe laces are tied.” 

The very next day Mr. Carnegie’s secretary buzzed him and said there was a gentleman waiting to see him.  When Mr. Carnegie approached the well-dressed and freshly shaved man he had no recollection of ever having met him. 

The man finally spoke and said, “Perhaps you don’t remember me.  Yesterday, I was at my wits end and was ready to go down and throw myself into the river.  I decided to give it one more shot, and that is when I met you.  Your comment about my shoe laces gave me a glimmer of hope that if I could do that one thing well, perhaps there are other things I can do well also.” 

Words have tremendous power.  They can bring life to a lifeless soul.  That is the main reason I have named my imprint 

Up-Words 

Offering Hope, Encouragement, Inspiration one word at a time.

When we speak the right word at the right time we have the power to give strength, renew faith, rekindle hope and restore a sense of dignity.

Will you speak some healing words to someone this week?  Feel free to use some of these or think of your own. 

You’re going to make it.

We’re going to be all right.

You Can.

You have it in you to do well.

I believe in you.

You have been a major influence on my life.

You are almost to the finish line.

You inspired me today.

You helped me when I needed it the most.

Words are instruments of healing.

P Michael Biggs

Up-Words Web Site

Offering Hope

Encouragement Inspiration

One Word at a Time

A Broken Spirit

(When the milk is splattered all over the floor and those little eyes are looking at you for your reaction, remember what really matters.  

It takes 5 minutes to clean up spilled milk; it takes much longer to clean up a broken spirit.) 

~Rebecca Eanes

This photo speaks to me on so many levels.  The last line says it so well:

“It takes 5 minutes to 

clean up spilled milk;

it takes much longer 

to clean up a broken spirit.”

After 6 years of blogging, I know that I write to a whole bunch of people who sometimes have broken spirits.  I can relate, for I am a recovering broken-spirited one.  On too many occasions, I have received a rebuke for my clumsiness.  I was expected to be perfect – walk perfectly; sit perfectly; and this gem:  “Speak up boy, don’t mumble your words.” 

Any time I would fumble, fall, step out of line or violate any other invisible infraction of which I knew nothing about, I would get a rebuke. 

So, for all of us with broken spirits and bruised lives, where is the hope? 

Part of our hope is found in some fine books.  Other places that house hope are safe and reasonable adults, therapist, and professionals who will guide us to a more level ground on which to rebuild our fractured lives.

The part you’re not going to appreciate is this – we sometimes have to dig out our own hope from whatever we can piece together from the shards of our everyday life.  

We may find bits and pieces in our reading material, our friendships, our therapist, and even our God experience.  I add this last one cautiously, for sometimes, the very people who claim to hang around God and speak for God are some of the worst abusers of the “breaking the spirit” crowd. 

Please listen very carefully to my next words, for I don’t want to be misunderstood.

I have a personal relationship with God through Christ.  I know where I stand with my Heavenly Father and I enjoy his abiding spirit in my life.

I’ve been exposed to multiple “religious” slants all attempting to interpret God’s wishes for how we should conduct our lives.  I find many of them harsh and grace-less. 

These teachers/preachers leave most of their audience members living with fear, guilt, shame, and living with a broken spirit, much like the little girl in the photo at the beginning of this article. 

What I have found helpful is this:  I have a select few Bible passages that are of great comfort to me, and I have a few affirmations that I resort to when the old recordings haunt my mind. 

Last week I posted some ideas from the book The Four Things that Matter Most.  It begins with four phrases that we need to be saying to those especially close to us.

Please forgive me

I forgive you

Thank you

I love you

A broken spirited person desperately needs to hear some of these phrases, for their biggest problem is this; they fear they are of no value, they have no worth, and there is nothing much of value that they can offer to anyone.  And that breaks my heart.

Besides my own very personal Bible verses, I’ve added to my life a few affirmations such as:

I approve of myself.

I am a worthwhile human being.

I am not my failures.

One step at a time is the way to where I want to go.

These are not magic elixirs.  They have no special magic, for as surely as I gravitate to these thoughts, others of you will gravitate to your own thoughts from completely different sources.

The point is this – you must find what works for you and the people who speak to your own heart and mind.  Above all, begin repairing your own broken spirit today. 

I have poured out my heart to God on numerous occasions, and I’ve done it through prayer and through something called “Morning Pages”, an idea taken from Julie Cameron’s book The Artist Way.

A partial list of some of the authors who have helped me are Brennan Manning, Philip Yancey, Brene Brown, Henry Nouwen’s The Return of the Prodigal, and so many more.  I hesitate to list a lot of books or more Bible verses or affirmations for fear you will adopt my list of helps and not dig these out for yourself.

You see, it is the digging for oneself that is the important principle here.  We have to do the hard work.  We have to find what works for us as individuals. 

Bottom line – a broken spirit can be repaired.  It can heal. 

And God stands nearby and will help you.

I will be praying for you.

P Michael Biggs

Up-Words Web Site

Offering Hope

Encouragement Inspiration

One Word at a Time